I hate the feeling of my foot being asleep. I sit on it too long: it falls asleep. If I have my knee bent in a certain position, my whole leg falls asleep. I CAN NEVER WIN. The numb sensation, if it can even be called a sensation if I can’t feel it, is so strange. Sometimes I wish that feeling would spread to every part of my body. At times I just don’t want to feel a thing and let life just pass me by to where little things didn’t affect me.
Responsibility has been lurking around me lately. School work has begun to pile itself higher and higher. Surprisingly enough though, I have been trying my damned best to get shit done. I have got to say, for the first time in a while, I’m pretty proud of myself. I’m really working for good grades and my study habits are improving. It sucks these habits were non existant in high school, but hey at least I have them now. Now I can really work for the career I’m aiming for and feel completely accomplished by the end of my journey.
Stress has also been lurking around me lately. There are so many things to balance along with school. Times like these (being busy with school) make me realize how much work is put into a relationship. The trials of working hard in school and then trying to maintain the house with my sister gets tiring in itself, but then balancing visits with “someone special” is something else.
I find myself sleeping a little bit longer, but I think the exhaustion is catching up with me finally. A restless summer brings this upon me when I need all the energy I can get. As a matter of fact, sleep sounds so pleasing right about now that I’m about to wrap this baby up and hit the sheets.
There are so many things I have left to say though.
Frustration has been so close to getting the better of me lately. So many people around me just irritate me. Like my boyfriend and Tony Montana say, “stop worrying so much, you’re gonna get a heart attack” I should just listen to those wise words, but I somehow can’t get past the ignorance, immaturity and the results of those behaviors.
There comes a time in people’s lives where you either continue what you’ve been doing for the rest of your life or you just move on so that you have some sort of a chance of being happy for the remainder of your life instead of wasting it away on sorrow and empty enjoyment. The smile on your face isn’t fooling anyone. We all know that on the inside you’re dying little by little (not literally). We all wish we could help these people, but in reality, you can only help yourself and can’t depend on anyone else’s opinions or advice because all in all, you’re going to do whatever you please and what pleases you.
Happiness doesn’t come to you voluntarily, you have to voluntarily go to it.
hey. I think i’ll copyright that. DON’T STEAL IT BITCH!
